I have people say, “Let’s get together.” Some people are like that. Would you like to join us?” She never knew how important that was.
I saw someone from the group getting her ticket, and she said, “How are you? I’m here with so-and-so. … It’s been seven years now, and I still have fun with them, and I have all sorts of outside activities.
Susan spungen movie#
I could get strength from you.” I really meant to get her contact information so we could have a movie club. At the end she said, “I enjoyed the movie, and I enjoyed sitting next to you. I thought: “I’m going to go to the movies.” And a woman next to me said, “My husband died.” I said, “Oh, I’m sorry,” and she said how she never would go to the movies without him. One day, a certain movie was playing within walking distance. I had a problem going to the movies I didn’t want to go. If it’s too early in the game and too painful, don’t do it again for a while. Or, when you get somewhere and see someone you know, make a beeline for that person and start a conversation. Try to go someplace with someone if you can. How do you navigate a restaurant or social situation that you would typically attend with a spouse? I used to say, “Frank and I went to such-and-such,” and in the beginning, I could see people flinching, but not anymore. It’s “Frank this Frank that.” You don’t have to dwell on it. Many people in my apartment complex have been widowed. When I do see them, it’s not an agreement, but we always include Frank in the conversation. Unfortunately, I have a bad knee impatiently waiting to get fixed. Since Frank died I don’t see them as much, logistically, living in a different place. How do you fill time on a weekend if everyone, such as your kids, appear busy? He always says, if he happens to be working, ‘I know it’s Saturday how are you?’ That was my bad day, but now it doesn’t occur to me. I don’t complain, but I happened to mention along the way that I hated Saturdays to the mail man. It’s more a Saturday thing than a Sunday. There’s people having a good time, doing things. I like to tell people what I want and need. I said, “Sometime, when you go to the movies, could you ask me to join you? I would enjoy it.” Guess what? She never asked me, even after that. You need to do an awful lot to sit down on me and stay there.Ī couple we were very friendly with when we were living in the Hamptons would tell me where they went to dinner, what movie they saw. She kept her head up and walked through life. I didn’t realize until later the toll it took on her. My mother had been widowed three times, and I always felt like she was my role model. How do you get up and get going when the entire day stretches before you?
I talked to Spungen about the book and lessons learned as a newly single person.
Susan spungen tv#
There’s one essay in the book about her nighttime routine that I absolutely loved, how she keeps an arsenal of distractions in bed with her, from books to phone to TV remote, flipping between “Law & Order” reruns to keep occupied. What it’s like to move to a new home, drive on a lonesome road almost gripped with panic or plan a long Saturday when nothing but time unfurls in front of you. The stories are relatable, even if you haven’t suffered a loss: what it’s like to eat alone, in front of the television. I ordered the new book for my friend, but I ended up reading it myself first.
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